i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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