im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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