What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
