"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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