I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
