Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
