first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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