the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
