I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
