It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
