I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
