just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
