Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
