i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
