We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
