Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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