So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
