I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
