how can u be prego again
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
