I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
