Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
