she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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