brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
