she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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