Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
