Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
