i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize