I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
