I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
