lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
