so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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