i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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