A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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