When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
