It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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