Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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