The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
