She said her name was "party"
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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