i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
