she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
