i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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