Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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