your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
