Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
