I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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