So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
