My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
