Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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