grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
