That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
