The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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