summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
