the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
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