Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize