So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
