was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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