I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
