you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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