Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
